Pillars

Get Informed
​When it comes to making decisions about sex and sexuality, the best place to start is at the beginning: getting informed about the basics of sexual health, and using this knowledge as a foundation from which you can start to build your own definition of what healthy sexuality means to you.

• Am I ready? Decision making and partner communication
  • Communication with your partner (or partners) is a critical part of healthy sexuality. Open communication – knowing how to talk, and feeling comfortable talking – with partners about everything from previous partners and STI testing to condoms and personal boundaries and preferences can help make sure you’re on the same page when it comes to preventing unintended pregnancy, STIs and HIV.
• What is affirmative consent?
  • Knowing exactly what and how much a person is agreeing to
  • Expressing intent to participate
  • Freely and voluntarily expressing that intent
• Sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
  • Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are infections that can be acquired during sexual or intimate contact. STIs are also sometimes referred to as sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
  • STIs can be spread by the exchange of bodily fluids and skin-to-skin contact. Semen, blood (including menstrual blood), and vaginal secretions are the most likely to transmit STIs
• Pregnancy and Contraception
  • Reproductive health planning - deciding for yourself whether, when and how you would like pregnancy to fit into your life, now or in the future - is an essential part of both sexual health and overall wellness. 
  • Whether you’re actively seeking pregnancy or actively trying to prevent it (for months, years, or ever), thinking about family planning now will empower you to make informed decisions about your reproductive life. 
• LGBTQ Services

Get Protected
While sex is never 100% safe, it can be made much safer by using a variety of strategies. You should aim for consistent safer sex, but don't let one slip-up throw you off. Instead, just make sure you practice safer sex next time. Remember that alcohol and other drugs can impair your judgment, and plan accordingly.

• Practice safer sex 100% of the time
• Condoms, Contraception, Emergency Contraception
• Get Vaccinated, vaccines to prevent STIs
  • HPV and Hep B vaccines are available at Tang Center
• HIV Prevention: PEP and PrEP
• Use condoms and/or dental dams every time you have sex. Make sure you know how to use them properly.
• Use condoms on sex toys, especially if used by more than one person or penetrating at more than one site (e.g. anus to vagina).
• Use water-based or silicone-based lubricant with condoms. Lubricant increases sensation and helps to prevent STIs by decreasing friction. Never use oil-based products with latex.
• Never reuse condoms, dental dams, or other barriers.

Get Tested
While learning about healthy sexuality may start with learning the basics about sex and sexual health, it should also include getting informed about your own status--by getting tested

• Get an STI test regularly. Semi-annually is recommended, but you should get one if you have any signs or symptoms or when you get a new sexual partner 
• Self-directed STI testing at the Tang Center.
  • You can request testing for chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, and HIV for yourself - without a medical visit - through the University Health Services’s eTang patient portal.
  • Self-directed testing does not test for all STIs, and may not be right for everyone, depending on your sexual practices.
  • Self-directed testing is meant for screening purposes only. If you’re experiencing symptoms that you’re worried might be due to a sexually transmitted infection, or if you think that you’ve recently been exposed to an STI, you can call UHS’s advice nurse or schedule a medical at the Tang Center.STI/STD Prevention

Consent

Consent means that after thoughtful consideration, all parties agree that they feel comfortable and safe to participate in a specific situation.
Pillars of consent

• Consent is an affirmative, unambiguous, and conscious decision by each participant to engage in mutually agreed-upon sexual activity.
  
• Consent is voluntary. It must be given without coercion, force, threats, or intimidation. Consent means positive cooperation in the act or expression of intent to engage in the act pursuant to an exercise of free will.
  
• Consent is revocable. Consent to some form of sexual activity does not imply consent to other forms of sexual activity. Consent to sexual activity on one occasion is not consent to engage in sexual activity on another occasion. A current or previous dating or sexual relationship, by itself, is not sufficient to constitute consent. Even in the context of a relationship, there must be mutual consent to engage in sexual activity. Consent must be ongoing throughout a sexual encounter and can be revoked at any time. Once consent is withdrawn, the sexual activity must stop immediately.
  
• Consent cannot be given when a person is incapacitated. A person cannot consent if they are unconscious or coming in and out of consciousness. A person cannot consent if they are under the threat of violence, bodily injury or other forms of coercion. A person cannot consent if their understanding of the act is affected by a physical or mental impairment.
  

By normalizing consent in our daily interactions within our community, we can play a role in the prevention of sexual violence.

Rejection

When we establish boundaries for ourselves and each other, it is natural that we may reject or be rejected by someone. That can be really hard to experience and process. 

• How does respecting boundaries relate to consent?
  
• What factors can make holding your own boundaries difficult? 
  
• How is accepting rejection related to respecting boundaries? 
  
• How does rejection feel different when it comes from someone you know well vs. someone you recently met? 
  
• How might a person's sensitivity differ when rejecting someone online versus in-person?
  
• Why is improving our relationship with rejection important in the prevention of violence?
  

While rejection is difficult, it doesn’t diminish all you’ve accomplished thus far, nor does it predict your ability to succeed in the future. We can choose to interpret rejection as a form of respecting another person’s boundaries.
Factoids

• Most college students have only had 0-1 sexual partners in the last year but believe that their peers have had 2 or more
  
• While it may seem that others are having a lot of sex, that’s not necessarily the case
  
• 87% of Berkeley undergraduates and 92% of graduates reporting having had vaginal intercourse reported using a method of birth control
  
• 50% of all sexually active people will get an STI by age 25